Adoption?

In September, I found out that I have pretty much complete tubal blockage - resulting in the fact that we will not be able to conceive naturally. As I've mentioned, we're going to try invtero in May, but our doctor has also been pushing adoption. I have a much harder time thinking about adopting a child than I do having a test tube baby. Until recently, I haven't even really thought about having to adopt. I do understan why the doctor is pushing it...she's trying to game the system. She knows having a family is important to us and wants to make sure we have a chance to before we're in our 40s. But to raising someone else's baby? That's a much harder pill to swallow. My husband has actually been much more open with his feelings about it than I have. He has admitted that he doesn't know if he could love a baby that is not his own - which I know isn't true. We have a dog that he worships, and that's a dog! Ha! But I haven't even thought about myself.

Initially, I was ignoring the adoption option. However, it hit me recently that it might be our best option. So, I have finally reached out to a few of the adoption experts that have been recommended to me. And it as such a strange experience. I felt like I was making a call to buy a baby...which is basically what I was doing. It was such a surreal experience. It felt like something out of Defending Your Life the early 90s movie basically about purgatory and looking at the decisions you've made throughout your life to determine if you could move on to heaven or have to go back to Earth to try it again. Basically - it was something extremely personal that you would never think you would have to do.

The good news is that now I'm more open to the option. The hubby still isn't, but its something to look into. And the GREAT news is - we're signing a contract to build a house tomorrow!! Ha!! :)